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Welcome to the Show!
This is the story of my life.
It isn't much, but it is mine. It can be a zoo.

Please keep your hands and feet tucked in at all times.

Friday, September 16, 2011

A Brief Dissection of A Beebs

There are days that I feel like a teenager again, and that no one understands me. That is typically compounded by one or two people that choose the absolute worst ways to convey their point. When I was a teenager, I was defiant. My opinion or point of view mattered little to any adult. Not that they were being malicious about it. They didn’t need to be. Telling me no without listening to my reasons why, well you could bet it was a sure fire way to get me to do just what you said not to. Of course I am a grown woman these days and thankfully much has changed.

I can work under supervision with no issues. I can be polite to peace officers, and do what I can to get along with most everyone. Authority is one thing I am okay with most of the time. One thing I do not deal with well is anyone, that goes for every person in my life, telling me no, I cannot do something. This is not to say that when I ask for someone’s opinion, that they can’t tell me that they feel it is not a good idea, and why. Opinions are always welcome. But don’t try to flat out tell me NO. As if I am some child asking for candy at breakfast. You don’t have the right. I will defend my right to that every day for the rest of my life. If I am making a dangerous decision, and I am not clear headed, I can understand such a thing. But let’s say I wanted to color my hair purple. A little off the wall for me these days, but nothing dire. You may not like it, but what business is it of yours to tell me I cannot? You have the right to tell me that you don’t like it, or that it is dumb. That doesn’t mean I am changing my mind. It is your opinion, while you can give it to me; it is my choice what to do with it.

I don’t feel that my declaration is unusual or abnormal in any way. I am sure most feel the same. I don’t do well with demands, and will be more responsive with requests or suggestions. I am normally a very accommodating person. I do not have designs in life to wreak havoc, or piss people off. I am a textbook Libra and while I like to debate, I rather need harmony. But when someone comes through and decides to be a bull to my china shop, I get defensive. I don’t have to be on the right side of an argument or discussion. I can admit I am wrong, but you won’t hear those words from my lips if you think you are going to beat me up to get the words out. Admit I am wrong when I know I am right? Not unless it is said sarcastically. 

I am an independent, family loving, bull headed woman. I will take care of you, as long as you don’t demand it of me, or take advantage of me. I am nothing without my freedom, equally as much as I am nothing without my family ties to this world. My love expands, it doesn’t break into pieces. I am not selfish with myself or towards myself. This is who I have grown to be in my almost 31 years. I am by no means perfect, but I stand by the golden rule as taught to me by my father. I hope by now, that the things I have outlined here were pretty evident to those that I spend most of my time with. But I think people tend to forget who the people that they love the most really are. We take for granted every day, how unique and wonderful we can be, and instead focus on the uglier, darker sides to our personalities. Don’t tell me my timing is wrong for saying how I feel. Be proud that I didn’t pull out my avenging sword and take off a few heads. Know that the reason you love me is still in there mixed up with the tired person who hates her job and would rather read than cook dinner.

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