Welcome to the Show!

Welcome to the Show!
This is the story of my life.
It isn't much, but it is mine. It can be a zoo.

Please keep your hands and feet tucked in at all times.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Random Monday Musings with a Hint of Greek Mythology

A super great happy fantastic weekend was had by most. I would say all, but then I would be lying. I had a great long weekend. My only regret was that it flew past in a pork and chocolate flavored, brightly colored blur. (Not pork and chocolate together. Unless it is chocolate covered bacon, which isn’t all bad, till you realize how horrible it is for you.) Yesterday we were so stuffed I had to drink water in little sips to get it to go down. 2 pork dinners less than 4 hours apart was not a great idea. But when you have two families to appease, you make due! The Easter Bunny didn’t pass me up this year, and I received an amazing basket filled with cute and thoughtful things. I guess I have been doing something right! 

I am trying to think of where I would like to vacation (day dream) to this year. I have been gathering booklets and pamphlets for places like Fiji and Playa Del Carmen, maybe even St. Barts. I pull them out and just can’t decide where I want to vacation (day dream) at next.  The reality will probably be a few days at home, with Steve, doing nothing but using time, since I can’t take time in the last quarter of the year. Who knows, maybe I will get lucky, and get to do some thing amazing. Hope springs eternal!

May is officially 5 days away. I find that fact nothing short of amazing. Next month my nephew will be 6, and the temps will be close to 106.  Texas is quickly becoming a desert, yet, we are getting ready to set ourselves to steam thanks to the 80% humidity. I pray that we have a pool to swim in this year. We are going to need it. I love early spring because it is warm, but not hot, and late fall is cool, but not cold.  Summer and Winter can take a hike. I know our electric bill takes a hike. Ba-dum tish!

As you can see, I went ahead and switched my blog background to my May theme. It is a lovely picture of the Goddess of Spring , Maia. (AKA Bona Dea or The Good Goddess) As you might have figured out, the month of May was named after her.  She is also known as a goddess of fertility. At this point, I will take all the help I can get. If you get pregnant after reading this blog, I cannot be held responsible, but you may name your children after me.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

What is Short, Fluffy, and Poops Jelly Beans and Sunshine?

This post! Here comes Peter Cottontail, hoppin' down the bunny trail! Hippy Hoppity a long weekend is on it's wayyyyy! We have a glorious long weekend ahead, and as usual I have things to do, and places to be. This is going to be the first ever EPIC EGG HUNT!! We are planning on using my Sister's entire property. You will be required to have an off road recreational vehicle in order to find eggs. Easter isn't just for the religious or the children anymore. Don't worry, I will have pictures. I can't wait! We have eggs to stuff, and food to cook. Possible homemade peanut butter truffle eggs, and most certainly a pork product of some type. It will be fun and filling, just like it always is when my family gets together. So if you are out there celebrating spring, or this holiday has religious significance to you, I hope you are safe. Also, don't eat too many deviled eggs will ya?? Pee-yew!!! 

I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him...

Friday, April 15, 2011

Diamond Encrusted Depends for Your Anniversary

I know I have been a bad, bad girl. It has been two weeks without a word from me, and now, you don’t know if I am alive or dead! Well I am most certainly alive, and I have been extraordinarily busy. Work, home, and weekend activities have kept me exhausted! As you will recall, weekend before last, I had a sleep over with The Pig (aka Hayden) and then last weekend was Air Show 2011. This entire week at work has been drama-filled and never ending. Except for the fact that you know, this is Friday. This doesn’t change the fact that this past week felt never ending. Oh never mind, you know what I mean!

Pig and I had a wonderful time during our sleep over. We will do that again soon for sure. We watched Sponge Bob, and went fishing, watched movies, and played at the park. Besides the fact that he woke up at 3:30 am that morning, it was wonderful. I love that kid, and I can at least know that if I never get to have children, Hayden is just as good as my own. As much as I hate that he is growing up so fast, I can’t wait to see who he grows up to be. It is a pretty heady thing knowing how much your words and actions can impact a child. I think our family is doing a great job with Hayden so far. I may be eating those words in 10 years, but, it won’t be the first time I have done it. Certainly won’t be the last. 
Watching Sponge Bob because we wanted to, don't judge!

Fishin' n' Stuff

The basic rundown of Air Show 2011 was: busy, tired, sunburn, some air planes, good food, great friends, end scene. I am glad it is all over, but I am super glad that we did it. The group of people we had together was endlessly fun and entertaining. If you were there, you know what I mean. Remember: "We're going home now and never, ever, under any circumstances known to God speak about this again is that clear? It is now merely a future therapy bill agreed?" (Oh it wasn't that bad.) We have our limits on the good time we can have, we are old with most of us being 30 or older. Such party animals! We were all yawning and getting to bed around 10:30. OLD!

This weekend we are blissfully boring people, with nothing pressing to do. It is rare, so I plan on enjoying it. Hayden and I have a date Saturday night, since my sister and her hubby are celebrating their 6th anniversary. The traditional gift is iron and the modern is wood objects. In Beebsville, the traditional gift is child care for the length of one evening! I’ve got that base covered. In researching anniversary gifts, I was amazed at some of the gift suggestions they have.

Did you know your 5th anniversary is your “wooden” anniversary? This apparently means that after 5 years, you are still getting some, so, congratulations! Your 10th anniversary is marked as “tin”. Take heed from the Tin Man, if you stay in one spot too long, your joints get rusty and freeze up, which relates to “stuck in a rut” in my eyes. 15th is crystal, and then your 20th is China. This makes no sense to me. I mean, crystal is shiny and flashy and beautiful. China is also lovely but fragile, and see through. What does that mean?? After 20 years, you are worn thin? After that, the gifts are pretty normal and more extravagant till you get to the 90th wedding anniversary. The traditional gift is stone. Yep, that is what it says! Gold, diamonds,and pearls you get for sticking with the same person for 50-75 years. If you make it to 90 years married, which is almost physically impossible, you get stone. 

Americans average age at death is almost 80 these days, hey my granny is going strong at 90 years old. (We know how to keep those chickens kickin’!)  But, you would both have to live to be 100 and have been married at 10 years old in order to make it to your stone anniversary. You know what? I think that is crap. I think if you were married to one person for 90 living years, then you deserve one million dollars, and jewel encrusted “Depends”! If you managed to stay married to someone longer than most humans live, you should get to kick the queen out of Buckingham Palace. That would be a fitting stone gift in my eyes.

So, happy 6th anniversary to Crystal and Turk the makers of Hayden flavored snacks. Also, coming up is Hayden’s 6th birthday, and mine and Steve’s 6th anniversary… oh noes! The mark of the beast!! The year before 2012!! What does this all mean!? Nothing. It just means in 2005 we were all realllllly busy. 
First comes love, then comes marriage, then 2 months later a baby in a baby carriage.Or something like that. 

Friday, April 1, 2011

I Don't Pity The Fool

I have been joking around all day. You know, it is my right being named April, on April Fools Day. I have pulled some choice ones today on my sister and my mom. I haven't considered anyone else besides the Office Nazi. I don't know how he will take it. He is a wild card. Some people just can't take a joke, and some just don't know when the joke is in poor humor. Like, let's say if I had pulled the very common, "I'm Pregnant!" prank. If I had 2 kids, then that would be funny. If I already had 8 kids, that would be hilarious. But being an infertile, who desperately desires kids, and who's family live on pins and needles waiting for the big announcement, well that is just mean. So today for my Mom, I lost my job... April Fools! For my Sister and Brother in law, their kid tore up my Dad's treasured family heirlooms, and the cat knocked over their fish while they are on vacation in Las Vegas... April Fools! For the Office Nazi, we cleaned off his desk (he is a paper hoarder) and taped his drawers shut, also, I put double sided tape on the phone. Because I am mean. April Fools!!

Tomorrow night Hayden and I are having our first ever Auntie/Nephew sleep over. We are both way excited. We plan on going to the park, riding bikes, watching movies, playing games like hide and seek, camping in the living room, eating popcorn and jello, and you know possibly pulling a prank or two on Uncle Steve, cause what fun is a sleep over without juvenile pranks?? I've gotta bring my baby up properly. I did promise not to get him drunk or let him smoke. I mean he is only 5.

Next weekend is the air show, and first annual Karg Barbeque Bonanza and Airshow Extravaganza. Sponsored by Mom and Dad Karg, this is a Chris Karg Production. Intermission and Dinner entertainment by: Shelby Karg (also a Chris Karg Production). (HA!) So as you can see, another busy couple of weekends ahead of me. I still need plenty of time to get things prepared for the craft fair at the South Side Farmers Market. We are buying a table to sell things at on May 7th. I am going to make a few purses and bags to sell, Steve wants to make soaps, and we will probably think of one more thing to sell before the fair. I am excited. I have the purse patterns, I just need the materials, and estimate how much I want to sell them for. It will be good, and hopefully, profitable!

Well here's to yet another successful April Fools day, and hopefully a successful Auntie/Nephew sleep over. Now, I have to go polish up on my ghost stories. "Hairy toe! Hairy toe! I want my hairy toe!"