Welcome to the Show!

Welcome to the Show!
This is the story of my life.
It isn't much, but it is mine. It can be a zoo.

Please keep your hands and feet tucked in at all times.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Don't Read! Unless You Want to Get My Morals On You...

Allow me to have a moment to burn my bra...

Ah!! Yes, that is better.

You may wonder what has my feminist side flaring with indignation. So many things that this blog cannot contain them all. It isn't necessarily towards men that my evil eye is focused on, it is more towards myself. Plus, I wasn't even a twinkle in my mother's eye when women were fighting for equality and protesting much to the Men's Club's disapproval. All the same, I feel the need to remind myself that I should be my own woman. Thankfully, my mother told me when I was but a wee training bra scorcher, that I didn't have to depend on any man ever to be happy in life. She told me to make my own happiness. Those words have always stuck with me. But even as I am humming "I am woman hear me roar", I am a hopeless romantic. I love to coddle, and to be coddled. I have no problem accepting the fact that I am not cut out to operate a jackhammer all day long, let alone open a pickle jar at times. But that is why I married. I fell in love, and I have someone to share my life with, flaunt my romance skills to, and open my pickle jars. I didn't marry for necessity, I married for love. I don't need to be with anyone to be happy, it just happens to be that I found someone who I was sure I wanted to be with forever, and decided to bond myself with him.

But sometimes, I get so caught up in getting someones attention, that when I realize they aren't giving me all that I need, I lash out at them. I have no problem calling attention to someone's inattention. I forget that people's worlds don't revolve around me, the same way I let my world revolve around other people's. I know better than to expect to get back an equal amount of time, appreciation, and sometimes love that I give. Così è la vita. We all have our selfishness. I have to give myself a kick in the ass, and remind myself that not only do I have plenty of appreciation and approval from my wonderful family, that I am the only person I need to please.

My goals for the coming year are already forming on my mind. I hope to write more, and get better at it. I plan on  making myself happy, instead of trying to make everyone else happy, and wait for a tidbit of thanks that mostly never comes. I will resolve myself to the fact that the life I imagined will most likely not happen, but that doesn't mean the one I have isn't as good, just not what I dreamed of. Last but not least, I hope to show each person in my life that has been my cheering squad, my support, and my shoulders to cry on know that I appreciate everything you do for me, and how much I love you. Haters can have some of this:

with a free side of STFU.

Monday, November 21, 2011

A Beebs Is Born! and Food Holiday!

Rock On, Birthday Boy!
 First of all, the love of my life is celebrating the day he split his tiny little momma in two while she gave birth to his almost 10lb baby self. We believe because he wrecked her so badly that the last two sons born just fell out and hit the floor. Hard. That is what is wrong with them. It all makes sense! All joking aside, Beebs, I hope your day is filled with coffee, smokes, and WOW (a few of your favorite things). I hope you enjoy your day off, and I will take you to have your most favorite meal when I get home, Breakfast. XoxO

So it is Thanksgiving week already, and I am tired beyond belief. This week is a very short one in the office, and thankfully after Thanksgiving lunch on Weds, we are released to go forth and stuff our faces in a traditional family setting. Or if you are my family, you are spending the weekend in the Texas brush aka "the sticks", frying a turkey. Since my husband and I aren't joining my family, we are cooking a full spread for his family, and taking it over to them like some kind of Turkey dinner delivery service. Circumstances beyond our control are preventing us from hosting the shin dig from our humble abode, and that blows. At least I can still play Sims 3 while cooking. Depending on how festive I feel, I may not even feel like dressing up in the turkey costume.

I was coming home from my sister's house the other night, and as I neared the corner I turn at, I notice a house ablaze in Christmas Glory! They had inflatables, blow-mold light ups, and lights on their lights, while the played season appropriate music. I am willing to bet the fake "snow" they had falling was actually marshmallows from a million cocoa packets. Eff that! Challenge accepted! I know Halloween is our thing, and no one does it better... That includes the family that gives out freshly popped bags of popcorn... But how are you going to set up the freaking entire catalog of decorations, more than a week before Thanksgiving, and not expect a throw down?

Anyone with a bunch of stuff could do this...
My plan is simple, don't go with quantity, go with quality! How bout an effin' winter wonderland in my front yard?! I can't go into details, because frankly I am afraid that they will read this, and know it is on, and I want it to be a sneak attack! Muwahahahahaaaa! (Yes, I have lost my mind.) But the Beebs says we can battle the neighbors, but only if I help him put away the rest of our Halloween stuff. Terms accepted! Time to go get some plywood, paint, and Christmas lights. With Beebs artistic eye, and my crafty help, we should have a steady stream of cars driving around our block.

I hope you have a wonderful Turkey Day weekend, and stay safe. Don't forget, every time you tell someone the tryptophan made you sleepy, your nose will grow, because the turkey didn't do it, the rolls, tators, stuffing, and other carbs are to blame. Also, if at all possible stay far far away from Black Friday. The trend this year is Grey Thursday... be hip! hahaha

Monday, November 14, 2011

Blog Blogging and Chapter 1 of Thanksgiving 2011: The Epic Struggle

As if one blog wasn't enough... I rolled out the red carpet on a new blog that is more about food, and food related tips than about my tongue in cheek attempt at humor of regular every day life. I hope this blog doesn't get jealous, but I really like http://adventuresofbeebseats.blogspot.com/ . Food and cooking connects me to my family, not to mention I use it as a creative outlet, and I love to eat. So, will just set the new blog to simmer and see what happens. (also I hope blogging about my other blog won't create some black hole somewhere. I will call it a Beebs Hole!)

Messy Margaret is at it again!

Thanksgiving 2011: The Epic Struggle. Chapter 1: Matriarchal Disturbances in the Force. The ladies dominate in our family. We are out numbered and out hormoned to the tune of 6 females to 14 males in my immediate family. (yes I included pets too, because we take care of them like children) My Mom, Sister and I are the Holiday Dictators, and we each have our own kingdoms. Normally, every one joins in a harmonious celebration that is always memorable, and usually fun. Occasionally, one of us will get a lofty idea and say something like: "You know instead of regular thanksgiving this year, I think we should all travel to China, and show them how to fry a turkey." That is when the agony begins for Beebslandia. This year, it was my hint a few months ago that Beebs and I may be doing Turkey Day with my hubby's family up north. It was on the table and possible, so I try to give lead time for absorption instead of dumping the idea without warning.

Immediately, Queen Mom suggest that Popsandgeegs (Mom and Dad), and Queen Frittle with her Bucktail Ranch (Sister and her fam), head 2 hours south of our kingdoms for Thanksgiving merriment and refreshments at the Ye Old Bird Lease. First of all, my oven isn't even cold, and they are excitedly planning a Beebslandia-free event. So Rude! But I didn't get upset, and I let them know all was in possibility mode, since nothing is set in stone until the ink on the tickets dries. Or so I thought. But unbeknownst to me Popsandgeegs and Bucktail ranch are making plans in full swing, regardless of my plans. We realized a few weeks ago that the greedy airlines are asking for more than our mortgage payment to fly up north. That's not gonna happen, no matter how sad it makes me. So we decided to stick to Beebslandia for now, and attempt to visit our far away family at another time.

With our flight plans filed away in the "when the airlines get their heads outta their butts" file, we confirmed our staying home status. Now, normally, we would say game on, and start working out the who is cooking what schedule. But the other kingdoms are still set on "A Country Thanksgiving" and I'm set between a rock and a hard place. You see, it all began 6 years ago when I married my husband. I got him as a package deal, that included not only a life sized Beebs action figure with roundhouse kicking action, but it came with his family, that consisted of 3 brothers, a mother, father, 2 sister in laws and at the time one nephew and a very lovely (and well missed) Abuela. The Beebs Family expansion pack is great, but now we have to split the holidays amongst the two central family factions. Our usual plan of action is to have lunch at my parents, and then have dinner with his. It is a guaranteed food coma, but everyone gets a piece of us. But now...

My family is headed 2 hours south of here, and that would be insane for us to be down there, and race back to his parents for the day. Someone is going to have to be left out of our holiday rounds. So I have made the executive decision to tell my family to be careful, and have a good time. I will see them when they get back. I didn't choose his family over mine, but I did decide that it would be better for my kingdom, if we were here, instead of traipsing across The Lone Star State like two turkey dinner hoppers. Yes, I could send Beebs to his parents, and I  could follow the pied piper to the lease, but I did that once, and it was dumb. I got married to my hubby to be with him for the rest of my life. He is my family, I took his name, and are one, and all that goo-goo ga-ga business, and dag nab it, I am going to be with my man! So, that is chapter 1of my epic turkey day struggle. Chapter 2 is actual turkey day. I hate to keep y'all in suspense, but my crystal ball is broken, and Hans (my puppy) ate all my chicken bones. Bad Puppy!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Mutiny on the Birthday Cake

I have officially and unequivocally had it with the upper management of my office. The amazing part is, I am having more fun being less of a nice person, and more of a solid gold b*tch. They can only blame themselves for this startling transformation from the outspoken, yet team playing employee to the John Wayne of employees. (meaning I am not taking shit from anyone...) As of this moment, mutiny is on the horizon.

Walk the Plank Ye Scurvy Dog!!

I like being a nice person. I like getting along with people and having good working relationships. But the 3 chiefs of this one room teepee are making me crazy(er). It won't be long until I lose my mind, and verbally lash out to the next person that says or does something that pisses me off. It wouldn't be so annoying if they didn't go out of their way to do things totally incorrectly just so they can make sure you waste your time. It does nothing but make me angry. I have better things to do than to waste my time for some over paid micromanaging office d*ckhead. Breathe in..... Breathe out....

In other news, my hubby's birthday plans are in full swing. I love spoiling him because he mostly deserves it, and because I love seeing his child like enthusiasm towards his cake and presents. When I met him, he disliked birthdays and most holidays. When he learned what a big deal, and how fun celebrating could be, he jumped right in with us. So I try to do something special for him. My issue is, his big day is on a Monday, and most of the cake jumping strippers and petting zoos take off on Mondays. Maybe I'll have better luck with the bouncy house?

Bouncy, Bouncy. Oh such a good time.

 We still don't know what is happening for Thanksgiving here, but that will fall into place eventually. I have started collecting delectable recipes for the sole purpose of busting my family's guts. Everyone is so different in their  likes for desserts in our family, I've come up with a great idea that will help solve the issue of variety. Mini Pies! I can make pumpkin, sweet potato, apple, and even chocolate creme for the kids, plus they are smaller portions than you would normally be served from a pie. So, I can make full batches of  each flavor, and then split them to be distributed amongst the two families. (and maybe a few extra for our house) I leave the pecan pie to my sister, who makes the most beautiful pie you have ever seen.

This isn't even the prettiest one!
Pies are nice, and stuffing is yummy, but the one thing that makes me do a happy dance of gluttony is my mom's gravy. She measures nothing. It is water, flour, salt and pepper, and meat juices and drippings. She can't really tell you how she does it either. She is a gravy witch with magical gravy coming from her fingers, oh and her home made German Chocolate cake makes her a demi god in our eyes.

Made by mom with love, and eye of frog??
I am going to begin a collection of my favorite holiday recipes on my main page for those looking for what a Beebs eats during the holidays. Merry early Christmas!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Gauntlet Continues... Into The Holiday Abyss

Guajalote! (pronounced Wa-ha-low-tay.)

Well hello November. Cooler weather? Check. Thoughts of turkey dinner, and pumpkin pie? Check. Christmas shopping, and my Hubby's birthday? Sorta check, and kinda check. October was busy, but it flew by in a blur of parties, illnesses, and Halloween candy. Now I have November to tackle. I will actually have around 2 weeks of down time this month, so I will try to fill it with crafting and present shopping for next month. Where we thought we may be going out of the state for a visit to family, ticket prices thwarted that idea. Honestly, shouldn't it be a crime to charge $1,300 for two people to fly on a super cramped plane with no meal. I would much rather our loved ones use the cash they were going to spend on our tickets for more important things like extra presents for my nephew and some industrial sized heaters for this winter season. I have a feeling they will need them! (if recent weather patterns are anything to go by) We will have to arrange something less expensive. I hate to disappoint my nephew for the second time this year, but I just don't think it is monetarily feasible. Who knows, maybe a Fristmas miracle will happen, and the hubby and I will be packing long johns for a trip soon. I wonder how cold it is up there during New Years?

Colder than a polar bears toe nails.

My husband and I have begun the breakdown process for Halloween in the house. I am debating on how soon I want to pull down the Christmas stuff. I think while we are in the attic we should pull down the tree and other items I use. I am going to be using a new color scheme on the tree, so I won't be needing the old ornaments. I like variety, and after 4 years of the same coppers golds and silvers, I am ready for something new. When I collect enough sets, I will just rotate them out. Our first tree started out red and silver, and then purple and silver. This year I have a more whimsical approach in mind.

This is my inspiration.

I do this for just us in the house, because we don't normally have a party for the Holly Jolly season. We leave that to my parents and my sister, who have Christmas Eve and Christmas day taken care of. I will have plenty of people over helping me in the kitchen for the usual seasonal baking extravaganza (hint-hint! I pay in cookies and other goodies) I am pretty sure that us making tamales is not on the schedule either. It was fun, but omg was it exhausting, and messy. Maybe this year I'll have my lady friends over for a cookie exchange and wrapping party... Dang it! Here I go having great ideas! I guess I am going to add another event to my list, because that sounds like fun. I am going to stop while I am ahead. Forward March!!! Left, right, left, right, left, right, left…