Welcome to the Show!

Welcome to the Show!
This is the story of my life.
It isn't much, but it is mine. It can be a zoo.

Please keep your hands and feet tucked in at all times.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I Need A Nap

unless you want sand in your lungs...

It's that time of year again, when the rest of the world's leaves start changing, and the weather is cooler everywhere else in the world besides where I live. We are still in hurricane prime time, and still being held hostage by the heat and drought. What cracks me up is that our stores are stocking up on sweaters and jackets, and we won't need them until possibly December. Note to stores: We still need shorts, flip flops and sleeveless tanks here in South Texas. Sweaters do us no good right now. But that's what living in the Armpit of Texas is like. We get used to the dumb stores, and the lack of green grass. Yet the crab grass looks lush and green. Eff you crabgrass, eff you!

Sleep Apnea - 1  Beebs - 0

So this is what I did last night. Pretty sexy huh? You can't even see the ones attached to my chest and legs, or the ones on the back of my head. Even better, I get to go back and do it all again, but this time with a cpap machine!
Honestly, screw lingerie! Who needs it with this baby!? Rawr!
This is what all the sleeping at a strange place and being hooked up like a science experiment is for.  You don't think you could possibly fall asleep with all that junk connected to you and taped to kingdom come, but you can. It took me around 30 minutes, but I did it. Of course when I woke up thinking it had to be 5 am, it was really only 11:30 am. I went back to sleep, and then woke up at 5am, and this time it really was. After a few questionnaires, and getting unhooked from the wires, I was free to leave. As I walked out of the office, I was so very tempted to yell out:

Because that's exactly how I felt.
Jumanji quotes aside, I am super tired this morning. Besides the uncomfortable wires, it was the knowledge that someone is watching you with a night vision camera while you sleep, and the huge microphone that is probably picking up my gastrointestinal distress, that freaked me out. No telling what I could have said in my sleep. Of course as paranoid as I was, I had to ask the respiratory tech this morning, and he said I didn't say anything. I probably didn't, or I said something crazy, and that crap is already on You Tube. If you see something out there, please let me know.

Issac you jerk! Get over here!!
This storm doesn't realize that the only place that wants a rain maker like Issac is my little armpit of the Texas coast. Stay a tropical storm, and bring the rain! But no! It had to take the same route as Katrina didn't it? Right now we are in the green zone which means, there is no way in hell we are getting this one. Which sucks immensely. Well I hope New Orleans, or whom ever ends up with Issac doesn't have a hard time with it. Good Luck! I have done all I could to get it to rain here. I washed my car and did a rain dance. My last resort is to plan some epically huge outdoor event. It's Murphy's law! It will rain if I plan something expensive and elaborate. Before I get started, I will need to learn where to be reimbursed for this party. You didn't think I was going to foot the bill for your rain too did you?? Pffbbt!

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