Welcome to the Show!

Welcome to the Show!
This is the story of my life.
It isn't much, but it is mine. It can be a zoo.

Please keep your hands and feet tucked in at all times.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Halloween!

We are ready for Halloween Night!
In the past years, there has never been enough candy. When the bowl is full, the first little ones get handfuls of treats! The bigger the crowd got, the less candy we gave out. Last year we gave one piece per kid! At the end of the night, I was raiding the candy dish in the house to help out before closing up shop!  Last year we had around 50 lbs of candy. This year, the kids had a benefactor! A wonderful woman in our lives bought all of the treats you see before you. 80 lbs of candy. Plus pretzels for those who are too old to be trick or treating or who are hauling their two day old infant around in a costume gathering candy.  You should be ashamed. The candy is for the kids 18 and younger, or if I just love your costume.

This is an extreme example, but the morning after feels sort of like this!
  The Lab is officially ready to delight and scare children and adults alike. All of the work, shopping, and last minute trips for fog machines comes down to tonight. It's a bittersweet day. I can't wait to see all the adorable kids, and see the reactions of our visitors. But at the same time,  I am dreading putting it all away. Tonight we will have the family over for dinner, and they will help us keep the little paws off our things, and enjoy the spectacle. But tonight, we will enjoy ourselves. I'll worry about cleaning tomorrow, or possibly this weekend. I want to thank my parents, my sister and her family, our Tio Pancho and Tia Mel, and my hetero life mate for helping with the decorations, candy, and support. We honestly couldn't have done it without you.  For those who can't make it to see our lab, my husband took a video on his phone. Some details aren't clear, and I am in there too, you just can't see me! Or maybe you can if you are good...

P.S. Tomorrow marks the beginning of NaBloPoMo, which is national blog posting month. I have entered into a contest where I have to blog every day for a month, including weekends. It will be a challenge, but I think I can do it. I may end up blogging from my phone. Talk about scary!!!  Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Politics Make Wounds Ooze and Flesh Crawl

Politicos scream in the dead of night!
Here we are, one week away from Halloween, and the scariest things going on have been the political arguments sprouting up. I know when it's a presidential election year, the political pressures from both sides are pouring in. But some people are get-in-your-face angry about your choice of elected official. Which is incidentally why I don't usually say who I am voting for with any seriousness. Honestly, It's my choice. I am not an undecided, I know who I am voting for, and that's that. But from the left and right sides, my eyes are bombarded with insults and ridiculousness that usually follows with any other simulated blood sport. I prefer to keep my toes out of the shark infested waters.

What's this?
I feel like Skeleton Jack seeing "Christmas Town" for the first time when I read someone leaving a clear and non derogatory comment. I say leave the mudslinging to the people who are getting paid to do it, like the candidates. But there are a few people out there that can do it. I honestly don't see how some people feel that the more they pound their point home no matter if in person or on social network, the greater the chance of changing someone's mind. It just isn't going to work. You come off looking like a bully.  When you start posting random links to websites that anyone could have made, while insisting it is all facts, you make yourself look foolish. I can't honestly say I trust any website to give the 100% truth or be non biased in some way. Also, I have a theory that everyone says that they are undecided, really isn't undecided. I am thinking they just don't want to be beaten up by the people of the other candidate. It doesn't make their choice wrong or right. I think it means that people are good at making up their own minds, and they don't need or want your help. If they do want your help, I am sure they will ask.

And they call him Sandy Clawwwwwzzzzz!
Now that we are at the last few days of October, it is officially time to start making my list and checking it twice. Christmas is going to be very crafty this year. I just need to get my sewing machine fixed, and a few buckets of glue and glitter... I promise it will be pretty! The only person I don't have an idea for is my hubby. He always has a list of items, but few of them are affordable or physically feasible. I suppose I will have to get creative this year. I am currently trying to figure out how I am going to come up with the desire to take down the Halloween decor and make room for the Christmas things. I have until Thanksgiving right? Time to trade in the zombie helpers for elves!

 (Just so you know, I am not just tooting my own horn about my crafts! Mr. Pigglesworth shot and narrated this video himself. Here is my very first customer review!)

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

You Don't Mess With The Beebshan

Ah, the old laptop nap. Been there, did that. (yesterday.)
48 days after my first sleep study, I am officially a cpap user. It took what seemed like an eternity, and some "let me speak to your supervisor!" before I could even get to this point. I got it home last night, mildly excited that I might actually feel rested when I woke up. Yesterday at the office, I was on the phone with the rabid chihuahua, working on several accounts, when I started falling asleep. I wasn't on hold or waiting. I was literally speaking and typing one minute, and the next I was murmuring nonsensical words and nodding off. What if I was in the car?? I felt like a narcoleptic! I would smack my face, and shake my head, but a few minutes later, I was nodding off again. I had high hopes for myself this morning. I woke up at 5:30, and decided to sleep one hour without the machine on, hoping to reduce face mask marks. I woke up at 6:15 as per Lucifina's usual whining, and didn't feel like doing a triple salchow. I was left wondering "where is this new person I was supposed to be feeling like?" Of course, after doing some research this morning, I find out that you really don't feel the effects until after 3 weeks. Back to waiting? Patience is a virtue I do not have.

It also comes in pink!!
So on top of not feeling like a million bucks as I was promised, I wake up to find a very large and sore red spot on the bridge of my nose. Also, my face is drier than a popcorn fart even with the humidifier on! So I went to the internets to see if I could find a feasible solution, and I found the cpap cushion you see above. For the low, low price of $15 a month, I too can have the ultimate in comfort. Also it comes in a fashionable pink color, what more could I ask for? For just .50 a day or $180 a year?! Sign me up! Actually, my second option was to buy gel shoe inserts and call it done. They may not be pink, but I am willing to bet they will be just as comfortable.

Warning: Bad moods are contagious.
I am not am empath in the least. But I am not blind to people's crappy moods. Sometimes it is a tone of voice, or the way a question is answered. Most of the time it can be ignored, or talked through. Of course getting to the problem is like chewing laffy taffy, because for some reason no one wants to admit their foul mood. A bitterly spoken "I'm fine" is almost always a clear indicator that they want you to dig and beg and pry until they let go of what ever is making them upset. Most of the time I have patience for the digging and the bitchiness. But their are times when I am tired and my good mood is hanging on by a few tattered strings from a long day. In those cases, I am not going to appease you, and you can take your crappy attitude and shove it up your... well, you get where it's going! Of course that usually means : A.) there is an excuse as to why you were mad that doesn't have anything to do with me or  B.) deny and accuse (tell me that you were perfectly fine, and that it was I who was in a bad mood). Either way isn't going to make things better. If you find yourself doing either of these things, just stop. Apologize, and let it be done. Pretending it didn't happen doesn't help either. How do you feel after someone bites your head off, and you had done absolutely nothing to deserve it? Personally, I feel the need to bite back.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Arise Chicken, Chicken Arise!

No Guts, No Glory? I think we have plenty of guts...

T- minus 2 days and counting until the big unveiling of The Mad Lab 2012. The lab is very close to being done. The inside of my house and the back yard? Not so much. Thankfully, My hetero life partner came over and sorted through all the chaos with me. Last night my husband helped me get the hallway blacked out and decorated. What ever is left over from the dining room and hallway will be used to decorate the rest of the house. I have plenty of stuff to make sure all areas of the house have something Halloween related.  I have tubs , and boxes all over my house. I still have no clue what to do with my coffin. Not to mention I still have to go shopping for food, and cook, and clean the house. I need some zombie workers. You would think with all my voodoo skills I would be able to create some, but I can't. It's against the law, I suppose. Somewhere between the laws making it  illegal to sell one's eye and milking someone else's cow, I'll bet  it says no reanimating the dead for personal use. Bummer.
If you like soda, you need this.

I was spoiled this past weekend for my birthday, new boots, clothes, and other various sundries. But my very favorite thing so far was my Sodastream machine. I have seen these on television and in stores countless times. I have always wanted one, because I am a soda drinking fool. I love my water carbonated. This machine allows me to make soda every single day if I wished to, and so I do. One day I will make diet cola, the next diet root beer, or ginger ale. I haven't found a flavor I didn't like. While this tickles my fancy, it doesn't excite the non diet drinkers in my world. My husband kept saying the "Dr. Pete" had a diet taste, and sure enough, the non diet flavors were made with splenda and sugar. I would compare it  to "Dr. Pepper Ten". Beebs says, "It tastes off." So now I am looking into making our own syrups. I have had my machine less than a week and I have made 30 liters of soda. Hopefully, I will slow down soon. This might be more expensive than buying canned soda in the long run. But it's so good!!!!!

The Voodoo that I do so well
 I can't wait to slip into my costume, and paint my face. Once I step out of my room, I will no longer be little Beebs. I will be Madame Beebs, our little black hole's own voodoo priestess! I even have a life sized voodoo doll. I can't wait to post pictures. I am hoping next week's blog post is more about pictures than words. Because as we all know, it's funny to see people dressed up and acting a fool. (you thought I was going to say a picture is worth a thousand words didn't you??) Laissez les bons temps rouler!

Arise Chicken! 

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Halloween Cat Fight!

In your face!
We live in a typical quiet suburban neighborhood close to a school and a taco stand. We hardly ever hear of crimes and have the usual gossips that roam the streets looking for and sharing info. The one time we have ever had issues, it was with the dude behind us, and we weren't the only ones he had been picking on. One thing I love about my 'hood is that just about everyone participates in Halloween festivities. I have even heard some people tell me that they have moved away, but still come back to trick or treat. I myself, have recruited families to come on over and cruise the candy fest. But I have had a goal for these past few years. I want our home to be known as "The Halloween House". Our yearly display has grown, and become an event itself in our friends and family's circle. We are no longer the only ones that  are vested in this amazingly entertaining and exhausting adventure. We started out with a table. two black lights, and some fake vampire faces. We have evolved to converting every nook and cranny in our garage into the gruesome masterpiece we have today. (Yes, I am tooting my own horn and I have no shame.) But when someone comes up to me in the street to tell me that the new neighbor "loves" Halloween and goes all out too, I am thinking "BRING IT ON".

Yes... Well....
So I backed out of my driveway Monday morning, and noticed that the neighbor who was supposedly "going all out" had set this up. I laughed an evil laugh to myself. Then I called my husband and told him to check it out when he left for work. But now after looking at it for the past few days, I am just offended. I mean honestly. You say you "go all out" and then you bring THIS to the table? I hate to be snobby about it, but I mean really! Your gravestones and strings of pumpkin lights are amateur. This is the stuff of Wal-Mart. strewn about your yard in a disorderly fashion. I am not saying it's because it's from Wal-Mart either, because many of our props come right from the Dollar Tree! I am saying you took it out of it's package and dumped it on the lawn, and called it done. Don't get me wrong, I fully appreciate anyone who shows enthusiasm for Halloween, and kids love it when houses are decorated. But don't bring "Frankenstein" grave busters to our Gutsy Gus party...

Gutsy Gus isn't finished in this picture, but one step closer.
I learned my lesson. Next time someone says "They go all out", I will be prepared to be underwhelmed. No hard feelings. I am actually excited to have them see our display Halloween night. You don't know that we are the Halloween house until we raise the garage door on October 31st. There are no grave stones or spiderwebs to indicate that just inside our garage door lies a horrifying display of epic proportions. We like to be sneaky like that.

Yay! I'm still in my "early" thirties!! Does anyone remember something special about their 22nd birthday? It's not a milestone, so most would say no. but for me, I happen to remember the day before my 22nd birthday quite well. I was sitting outside my friend's shop in my hippy bell-bottomed jeans that were split up the sides in the calf area,  and embellished with brass rings that jingled when I walked. I was smoking a cigarette when this hot rod silver/blue Nissan pulled up. I didn't notice who it was. I chatted with my sister, and went about my business. The guy that had just shown up was leaving pretty shortly after he had arrived. He had stopped by to see a friend of mine and had walked out with him. My friend called my name and introduced me to his friend Steve. I smiled and said hello, and Steve looked back at me with these amazing hazel eyes, and smiled a huge smile at me. My heart skipped a beat or two. In my head I said, "That smile. Wow. Those eyes, beautiful! Holy crap I think I am in love."

It wasn't easy getting here, but it was worth it!
 10 years later, I am still in love with Steve. He doesn't have the hot rod Nissan anymore, and I thankfully don't own those hideous jeans either. Things have changed. It's been so much easier, harder, frustrating, and wonderful. For my 22nd birthday, I met the love of my life, and thankfully he still is. Beebs is the gift that keeps on giving. Thanks for the best 10 years of my life Babe. Happy birthday to me.