Welcome to the Show!

Welcome to the Show!
This is the story of my life.
It isn't much, but it is mine. It can be a zoo.

Please keep your hands and feet tucked in at all times.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I Need A Nap

unless you want sand in your lungs...

It's that time of year again, when the rest of the world's leaves start changing, and the weather is cooler everywhere else in the world besides where I live. We are still in hurricane prime time, and still being held hostage by the heat and drought. What cracks me up is that our stores are stocking up on sweaters and jackets, and we won't need them until possibly December. Note to stores: We still need shorts, flip flops and sleeveless tanks here in South Texas. Sweaters do us no good right now. But that's what living in the Armpit of Texas is like. We get used to the dumb stores, and the lack of green grass. Yet the crab grass looks lush and green. Eff you crabgrass, eff you!

Sleep Apnea - 1  Beebs - 0

So this is what I did last night. Pretty sexy huh? You can't even see the ones attached to my chest and legs, or the ones on the back of my head. Even better, I get to go back and do it all again, but this time with a cpap machine!
Honestly, screw lingerie! Who needs it with this baby!? Rawr!
This is what all the sleeping at a strange place and being hooked up like a science experiment is for.  You don't think you could possibly fall asleep with all that junk connected to you and taped to kingdom come, but you can. It took me around 30 minutes, but I did it. Of course when I woke up thinking it had to be 5 am, it was really only 11:30 am. I went back to sleep, and then woke up at 5am, and this time it really was. After a few questionnaires, and getting unhooked from the wires, I was free to leave. As I walked out of the office, I was so very tempted to yell out:

Because that's exactly how I felt.
Jumanji quotes aside, I am super tired this morning. Besides the uncomfortable wires, it was the knowledge that someone is watching you with a night vision camera while you sleep, and the huge microphone that is probably picking up my gastrointestinal distress, that freaked me out. No telling what I could have said in my sleep. Of course as paranoid as I was, I had to ask the respiratory tech this morning, and he said I didn't say anything. I probably didn't, or I said something crazy, and that crap is already on You Tube. If you see something out there, please let me know.

Issac you jerk! Get over here!!
This storm doesn't realize that the only place that wants a rain maker like Issac is my little armpit of the Texas coast. Stay a tropical storm, and bring the rain! But no! It had to take the same route as Katrina didn't it? Right now we are in the green zone which means, there is no way in hell we are getting this one. Which sucks immensely. Well I hope New Orleans, or whom ever ends up with Issac doesn't have a hard time with it. Good Luck! I have done all I could to get it to rain here. I washed my car and did a rain dance. My last resort is to plan some epically huge outdoor event. It's Murphy's law! It will rain if I plan something expensive and elaborate. Before I get started, I will need to learn where to be reimbursed for this party. You didn't think I was going to foot the bill for your rain too did you?? Pffbbt!

Friday, August 24, 2012

The Lost Halloween 2011 Pictures!

I was so excited when I looked at my camera this weekend and found pictures I never knew existed!! We had pictures from October last year, and by golly, I have a few to show! Someone actually took pictures of all the things I forgot to take pictures of.  So, now here is a few pictures of the party and Halloween night.:
Here Lies the Buffet. Complete with "Human Dip" (hummus), and Moldy cheese balls.
Since I was dressed as a witch, I needed and altar. Of course, you can see my familiar, the Lizard.           
Due to not having permissions from the party attendees to post pictures of them on my blog, I can't show you all the awesome costumes. But I do have a picture of one guest who didn't have a choice. She was my own creation, and she was spooking people from her corner of the "haunted hallway".
She's been waiting for you...
And this guy showed a lot of guts...
Halloween Night is for the trick or treaters, and we do our best to give them a fun night. We had around 1000 people in our garage last year. This year we expect even more.

Street View of Halloween night. It's like drawing moths to a flame!
And more people!

And even more still!
   If you can't tell by the pictures, we enjoy Halloween. It might be a heathen holiday, but it's ours. This year will be more of the same ghoulish delights and disgusting displays. I hope you get to join us this year, and if not, I hope we will have plenty of pictures that I won't lose for almost a year. Oops!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

No Drama or Dogs Allowed

It's not about getting by, it's about buying hats.
I have decided to go back to working a second job. Now that may seem crazy especially since it will leave me with zero to no time at home to do anything besides eat and sleep. But sometimes, you've gotta do what you've gotta do. I applied at a pretty common department store because I have done retail before, and I generally liked it.  I have goals and plans and my 40 hour 8-5 job isn't giving me enough money to fulfill them. If I get hired to where I applied to, it will really help with Christmas shopping too. I'm one smart cookie, if I do say so myself! How ever, it will put a damper on my cooking duties at home. So, I suppose we will figure out soon if we continue about our business, or if I need  to stock up on Cup O Noodle soups.

I swear someone switched us to decaf!!
 Today has been impossibly busy, and I have been impossibly tired. I caught myself nodding off while holding for a representative over the phone. I have even nodded off twice while writing this. I know for certain I slept through the night. Somehow, I just think it is the boredom that comes with this place. It's almost too much. I know that working a 2nd job may not seem to be the best idea, but the way I am thinking about it, I'm always more alert in the evening, so hopefully it will work out. I suppose I might look into the sleep apnea story. Maybe that's my issue. Maybe my cat is the cause of my issues. I did wake up this morning to him curled up on my chest. It's Doodie apnea then. Dang cats!

Look, we did it, and now you have to do it too! 
So in a few days, school season starts. Mr Pigglesworth is onto the 2nd grade and his bro Dev is going to be a senior. As per traditions, it's time for the back to school party. As we have done every year, it will be a smorgasbord of fun and foods. (mostly it's a regular BBQ with the family) But in order to make going back to school a fun thing, we "throw a party" and make it look cool. I know all about the anxiety of going to  school. It's cool to see friends, and get to know new ones, but at the same time there is so much pressure, even as a young one. So to help bolster the kid's confidence levels, we party. My sister of course said we would need to make sure we cooked healthier foods. I wonder if carrot cake counts as health food, and if the kids will let me get away with making carrot cake? Perhaps I will make a chocolate cake, and call it done. I will figure it out when we get there I suppose.

A load of drama for me? Eh, no thanks.
I like connecting with family and friends on Facebook. It's great to keep a toe in the socialization pool. But it also causes drama. Major dump truck loads of drama. I can't seem to say something silly or say hi to people without someone or something coming back to bite me in some way shape or form. It's tiring to be worried about who you are and aren't friends with, and if your last post was offensive. I'm not worried about all that. I don't want to be worried about it either. I'm sure some people decided that Facebook is a great vehicle for revenge, but I am not one of those people. I use it for entertainment, and that is what it was meant for. I don't have an account  for anything but to get a few laughs, and to see what my friends are up to. I am not hesitating to delete anyone that brings the drama about Facebook. No one is off limits from blocking. There is no reason for drama over a website. My policy has worked for me so far. I hate to be harsh, but there it is.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

I Can't Breathe! My Doctor Said So

Betcha can't guess what I'm gonna be for Halloween!
So after several weeks of debating over what to be for the Halloween party, I finally have it planned out. I can't wait to get started on my costume accessories. There is less than 60 days to the party. I'm getting excited! There is still so much to work on, and get sorted out. I need to come up with new food and drink labels to fit my theme, and update the invitation. I do love party planning. It gives me all the right outlets for my likes and personality. I love being social, creating in the kitchen, crafting, and Halloween all bundled into one fabulous event. It's truly my favorite time of year.

Yesterday I had my quarterly check up at my physician's office. He patted me on the back and congratulated me on my slow but steady weight loss. Just 10 more pounds since he last saw me, but progress is progress. That puts me some where in the neighborhood of 50 lbs down. I'm getting to my goals like a snail, but a determined snail none the less. The sooner I lose this weight, the sooner I can shed some of this medical baggage. After telling my doctor how tired I have been, he suggested I may have sleep apnea. Which doesn't surprise me, only because my husband has commented on my breathing issues and snoring at night. Soon they will be calling me to do a sleep study. As much as I am all for getting healthy again, I am understanding the mentality of those who never want to go to the doctor. Why do I want to go when every time I do go, they tell me about something else that needs to be treated? Bah humbug!

Such a polite man! I bet he was just looking up her skirt...

Please. Thank you. I'm sorry. These words are in so few people's vocabularies these days. Now, just to clarify,  I am no saint. When I deem you to be unworthy of my thanks, I won't give it to you. You don't get appreciation from me for being a jackass. I've even been know to say thank you and sorry dripping in freshly squeezed sarcasm.That's not always the case. For what it is worth, I love to show my appreciation as much as I love to speak it. I work for a living. You would think that a paycheck would be enough of a thank you to keep me going. But when I do above and beyond, extraordinary work, I like for someone to acknowledge it. If no one says thanks for all the hard work, I don't feel like working. What does it matter anyways?No one appreciates the work I do. One of these days I will get fed up enough and find another job. This applies to so many areas. Teach it to your kids, and practice it more yourself. Who knows, maybe some day we will be able to go somewhere and actually have no complaints about the service!

Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well. -Voltaire

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

The Holiday Road Less Traveled

WTF Baby says: Life is harrrrd.
I am currently 3 weeks into an online class through Corsera.org called Fantasy and Science Fiction: The Human Mind, Our Modern World. The object of the class is to read a book the professor chooses, and them come up with an essay 270 to 320 words, "that aims to enrich the reading of a fellow student who is both intelligent and attentive to the readings and to the course." I'm not quite sure what I am learning besides how to tear apart a story and look for the deeper meaning, and then condense that into 320 words where you have to convince your reader of your theory. The first two units weren't easy, but the books were mercifully short and easy to work with. Our latest unit is working with "Dracula" by Bram Stoker. I'm not sure how I am going to take all those journal entries and come up with some "deeper meaning" other than, vampires are evil, and tricky. Stay away. The end. That doesn't exactly make the 270 minimum, but I suppose I can find some filler.

Meet Henry The Hypocrite Hippo
Every single person is a hypocrite. In some way shape or form, we have told or asked some one not to do something we are guilty of ourselves. Sometimes it is out of well meant concern or just to control. These are the things we have to think about when we see someone doing something they asked you not to do repeatedly. The most common reaction is anger. How dare they! But what was the intent? A parent telling a teenager to never smoke cigarettes, as they are exhaling after a puff, is meant to warn the child of the addiction of smoking. Not to say, "you can't smoke but I can!". After many years of my parents smoking, and telling us not to, and us begging for them to quit, my sister and I are both smokers. Our parent's tried to warn us. But that differs greatly from say, telling someone not to do something because it hurts their feelings, only to have that same person do the something they asked you not to do. This is a matter of control and manipulation. This is something to be angry over. Who wants to be manipulated? Certainly not myself! But what do you do about it? Honestly, you will have to decide that. Does the crime fit the punishment, and vice versa? Make sure to think before you act. But make sure you are defending yourself as well. Being road kill for others intentions and ideals is no way to live life. Just a warning though: You will encounter a hypocrite that doesn't see that they've done wrong. It will be very hard not to be extremely upset over this. Just try your best.

This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun.
It's almost time for my family to load up into the metallic pea family truckster, and head across Texas to our favorite vacation spot Concan, Tx. It may be just a fun place to stay the weekend for some, but for us, it is the place my family settled, and is buried. We enjoy the connection to our roots, as well as the chance to relax and let the river take our worries with it. Only we don't get to make this trip because the husband missing 2 days at work without pay is crippling to our budget. It is a serious disappointment for all of us. While there have been plenty of trips that we haven't been able to take with my family, I feel like this is the worst for some reason. I suppose my nephew begging me this past Sunday doesn't help. I'm still looking for a way to miraculously make it happen, but nothing short of winning the lotto is going to work. These are the days that responsibility sucks royally. Hopefully next year we can make it, and this years bummer will be long forgotten. I may be sad now, but how awesome will it be to hear how much fun Mr. Piggles worth had on his first cognitive vacation Concan? I can't wait to hear all about it.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Derailing the Dream Weaver Train

I don't think this one is big enough...

What if you woke up, one morning, with a giant snake coiled around you and slithering over you? You didn't have to open your eyes, you just felt it, and knew it was real. Now imagine there is very little in this world that frightens you more than being any where in a mile radius of a any snake, let alone a snake this big. I didn't want to move in fear of it biting me. So I tried so hard to wake up my husband with my voice, and he wasn't responding. I was so utterly terrified he would wake to find me dead, or worse the snake would get him too. I persisted through the panic, and tried not to move an inch. The snake was constantly moving around and over my body. Finally, my words broke through his sleep, and woke him. I begged him to get the snake off of me. He sleepily told me there was no snake. He wasn't believing me, and I was about at my wits end. With one last pitiful "Please" from me, I felt him reach out and touch my shoulder. As soon as his warm hand touched me, the snake disappeared, and I actually woke up this time. I am a vivid dreamer, and frequently talk in my sleep, but this nightmare was enough to make me want to never sleep again. My friend suggested a dream catcher. I think nothing less than a snake proof house will help.

No, not really.
Most of you have heard about the big whoop-de-do over Chef-in-the-lay (as Mr. Pigglesworth would say), AKA Chick-fil-a. The CEO went publicly stated that he is against gay marriage. So of course the good citizens of these United States of America decided to draw a line in the sand. Those who were anti CFA, and those who were true supporters. Now everyone from politicians, entertainers, and even those in my town chose their side. Mike Huckabee came up with a "CFA Appreciation" day, which was today. Can you guess what happened? No? I'll tell you. CFA is making money hand over fist. Lines for miles they are reporting! Everyone who went and bought lunch today at CFA paid at least 7 dollars for a meal, and if all of the supporters on Mr. Huckabee's page actually went and ate there... You are looking at a current (low ball) estimate of $4,504,836 bonus millions for CFA. On top of the millions they were already going to make... You know what makes me sad? CFA didn't need the extra money. It's not like the employees get a piece of that money. No, instead of supporting CFA, you should have been out there supporting your local economy. Those people should have gone to the mom and pop restaurants and dumped their money at a table in their own community. Support CFA by liking their Facebook page, or sending them a letter. Not with more money! For shame!! If you want to be against gay marriage, right or wrong, that is your decision, but think before you support someone who doesn't need your support. All I am saying is, I know there are are tons of awesome small business owners that deserve your money. Chick-Fil-A is doing just fine without all the extra "support".