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Welcome to the Show!
This is the story of my life.
It isn't much, but it is mine. It can be a zoo.

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Friday, February 25, 2011

Special Spotlight: The Office Nazi

Some days you are the mower, and some days you are the lawn. This week I was the particularly stubborn weed that could not be killed. I had many things thrown at me. Mostly it was just annoying things, like doing the desk shuffle at work. I had my regular work, and then I had to uproot a years worth of crap I had built into my space just so I could move it 10 feet away. I am not complaining about my new cubby hole. I am actually happier in my partially secluded area. I can see actual sun light again. I am also out of the Office Nazi's view.

Who is the Office Nazi? He is a special sort of person who watches the clock too see how late you are, and then mentally notes it so he can bring it up when he feels you need to be chastised. He won't say anything at the time, but he will certainly give you a dirty look. He is also the guy that tells you no when you need personal time off. Unless someone is dead, you don't need a vacation. Thank god for sick days. I have officially renamed them "Mental Health Days", thanks to his special brand of annoying. I guess I will be up the creek if I ever really do get sick.

Everyone has that incredibly annoying person in their office. I am lucky to have 3. They really work as a team to peel your skin back, and poke and prod at every nerve you have ever had, or ever will have. The Office Nazi is special though. He is ALWAYS there. He listens to your phone conversations, and comments on them, personal or not. He reprimands you for the dirty kitchen, even if he knows you didn't make the mess. Its not like he can tell the boss to clean up after himself.

The Office Nazi loves to listen to himself talk, and loves it even more if he can pop quiz you and you get it wrong. He has a special sparkle in his eye when he is explaining something to you that you may already know, yet he is going to tell you anyway. His systems are permanent. DO NOT try to change them. Your idea may be better, but he doesn't care. Got gossip? He is the first to blabber mouth anything to your boss and your supervisor. To the Office Nazi, women are inferior, and not allowed in the boy's club ever.

But he does have his sore spots that you can defend yourself with. His kryptonite is a PMSing female. He leaves you alone if you are in a very bad mood. Also, you can go over his head when you need something and he has refused. Your ideas sound so much better coming from the bosses lips. He doesn't have very many sore spots, but they are there. All you have to do is know how to apply pressure.

I pity our Office Nazi. He is always at work, doing not much of anything, and gets paid very little to do it. When our boss dies, so will his job. Yet, he won't go. I think he realizes that if he has to really go, his possibility of going elsewhere in out industry is pretty slim. I hope for his sake, he has a good retirement savings built up.

I hate to be spiteful to any co worker, whether they are my superior or not. It makes coming to work harder. But the Office Nazi has me responding in biting tones, and rolling my eyes like I did as a teenager to my mom. He pushes some of my buttons so hard, I think they are broken now. I don't bristle at him for listening to my phone conversations any longer. If he wants to hear how my dog went to the bathroom on the floor instead of outside, then so be it. I like to have conversations about my "monthly gift" so he can get an ear full. If he feels the need to listen to my every conversation, then he can take the good with the bad. I know, it isn't right, but it feels so good to be bad sometimes!

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