Welcome to the Show!

Welcome to the Show!
This is the story of my life.
It isn't much, but it is mine. It can be a zoo.

Please keep your hands and feet tucked in at all times.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Monsters and Epiphanies

The husband and I decided to try carpooling this week, thanks to the unbelievable gas prices. It hasn’t been so bad. He rides his invisible breaks on the passenger side (it cracks me up), and I don’t listen to NPR like he does, because it rots your brain. Also, I am Chatty Kathy, and he is mostly not awake. We both get to work on time! That is quite an accomplishment. The only issue I foresee would be one of us having to work late. All in all, we have done okay the past week. I am actually really enjoying it. 

Following last week's upheaval here at the office, I guess Murphy's Law decided to kick in with, Rule # 22 : If you think you had a hard week last week, wait until this week. Thank goodness it is Friday for pity's sake! I am officially DONE with this week. Not only did my rabid-chihuahua-like supervisor come into town but my boss decided he wanted blood, as it had been a while since he had taken some from me. Yes, my boss is a vampire, a gross slimy, alcoholic one that is no where near the new emo vamps of Twilight or the hotter than hot ones that I read about. He sucks at your will to work too. Who wants to really put forth your best effort after the boss figuratively tans your hide for something you didn't do, and he realizes it 1/2 way through our conversation, but won't apologize? Not me. Alas, my clients won't let me bum around, and flip the proverbial bird at my boss. 

What could go on that could make me want to forget an entire week?? Let me count the ways! I walked into the office Wednesday morning and went to my desk. Before I could even sit down, I tripped. My coffee spilled all over the 6 presentations that I had prepared the day before for a meeting that morning. Every single one was dripping in coffee.I had 2 hours and some change to fix it. I did it, but not without scaring the new hire away with my frazzled and freaked out answers to her questions. It was NOT a good time to come for help. The rabid chihuahua was very near, and I knew she would be biting my ankles the second she walked in the door.

I did fix it as best I could, and as predicted, the Chihuahua started zooming around the office being generally annoying and foaming at the mouth. But after that, she was subdued. Not a single yip from her the rest of the time. She must had gotten her shots updated. For those of you who are keeping track, I am confirming that I work with a Nazi, a Rabid Chihuahua, and a Slimy Alcoholic Vampire.

Yes, I know it is a shocking and very diverse group of individually annoying characters. But this job is a paycheck, not a passion. I deal with it. I know I am a regular hero, no need to send flowers. But in case you must, I will send you my list of birthdays, and you can help me look like a real hero when everyone on my b-day list gets flowers this year!

To add insult to my injury, I had to go to the doctor yesterday for a regular check up. It prompted a very unwelcome epiphany.  It was nothing the doctor said, it was more like what I realized after looking at some info in my chart.  I am by no means a small girl. I don't come from waifishly thin stock either. But in the past few years, I have allowed myself to get to a weight I used to tell myself I would never get to. I ignored and denied the obvious signs that I am unhealthy. I don't care what I look like. It isn't what is driving me. For some, that is motivation enough. For me, I needed the concrete evidence, and that is what I got when I stole a look at my chart. I am amazed I haven't been diagnosed with diabetes or high blood pressure. No matter, if I don't make a change, I will be diagnosed soon enough. I plan on losing 60 lbs as my first goal. But I am going to keep going, because slipping back into old habits is too easy. I know what I need to do, and I have already made the most important step I needed to make. I made up my mind to get healthier. I enjoy life entirely too much to ruin it by dying young. 

What a week! Anyone up for some rabbit food and a bike ride? I am.

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