Welcome to the Show!

Welcome to the Show!
This is the story of my life.
It isn't much, but it is mine. It can be a zoo.

Please keep your hands and feet tucked in at all times.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Open Up and Say, Ahh

My dentist is cuter, and way less sadistic thankfully.
 After all the medical attention I have received in the past few months, I decided June was my month off. I succeeded. For one month, I was free of the lab coats, needles, and co pays. This month I am visiting my dentist. While I have a very awesome dentist, and his wife who runs the office is equally as nice, I still hate to have dental work done. Ever since watching little shop of Horrors as a kid, well, let's just say Orin Scrivello - D.D.S. left me with a lasting impression. "I thrill when I drill a bicuspid / It's swell though they tell me I'm mal-ad-just-ed." I don't get too upset over it until they start talking payments. Even with insurance, which covers a whole $1000, one root canal, and a crown will cost around $3,000. This is for one solitary tooth. I don't understand how they can say that dentist have the highest suicide rate of any profession with all that money they make. Is it possibly remorse for ripping us off that forces them over the literal and proverbial edge? But if that theory is correct, then why not lower the rate and therefore save yourself the trouble? Let's be reasonable here. Driving off the cliff in a yellow Lamborghini Diablo is flashy, but it is just a shocking as driving off in a Toyota Carolla, I promise. Same fiery crashing and everything. Honestly, no one but the people on the road will know what car you died in. Once you get to the bottom, it will be burnt to a crisp either way.
The couch is the safe zone, and every where else is hot lava... Stay on the couch!
My last post mentioned the heat, and how we needed the rain. Ask and I shall receive. It makes me think that it is possible that my husband has a weather machine in the garage some where. I did buy him that book "Electronic Gadgets for the Evil Genius", perhaps it isn't just an entertaining bathroom read. Or maybe he won it from Dick Cheney in a poker game? All I know is, we got rain! But someone didn't finish reading the post, because I specifically asked for NO MOSQUITOES. This was blatantly forgotten, and now I fear we will all be anemic in the next few days. Maybe if someone would invent a mosquito that sucked fat instead of blood, we wouldn't do our best to be rid of them. I would honor them in my home, and pay them homage! Sadly, the majority of the rest of the country is either on fire, or being baked to death. Adding insult to injury, you get storms that succeed in only cooling you temporarily while simultaneously knocking out your power for weeks at a time. These are the days to be in a pool, a lake, or the ocean. Get to a body of water and stay there!

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, and beer.
The time is upon us for us for celebrating the day our very first congress assembly got together and decided to draft a nasty letter to King George III basically telling him where to stick it, and how to go about breaking it off too. The miracle that I see is not that they produced such poetry as the Declaration of Independence, but that Congress accomplished something without looking like a room full of buffoons. Good for you, fore fathers. Wish the guys and gals currently in Congress and the Senate could get it together. This selfish business of government we have now probably has more than a few spinning in their graves. 276 years ago, they were patting themselves on the back, thinking they had just secured a better America. Sadly, too many of the wrong people got their greedy, corrupt or just idiotic hands on our government, and now the youngest country is looking less like a responsible, hard working, and brave nation, and much more like a huge mess. I know I sound like a total pessimist here, but I think I am being a realist. We put ourselves here, and I hope we get ourselves out. Happy Independence day fellow Americans!

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