Welcome to the Show!

Welcome to the Show!
This is the story of my life.
It isn't much, but it is mine. It can be a zoo.

Please keep your hands and feet tucked in at all times.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Forget Hurricane Preparedness, Try Halloween Preparedness

Something wicked is around the corner...
and it's not a monster with an ax! (but it could be) It's time for us to kick our mad lab prep into high gear and start unpacking the unbelievable amount of things we fill our garage and the rest of our home with to make it a truly "hare" raising Halloween experience. With only 99 days left to our favorite haunted holiday, we need to get cracking! Time to break out the coffin, bones, and the endless list of gooey, gory, glowing, and gross items we have collected over the years. We are always looking for new additions, and even though last year was great, I think I really want to make it different this year. The kids in our area know our tricks, and while they look forward to seeing our display, it can get tiresome. We have two main events, our first is the Halloween/Birthday party in early October, where I celebrate my big day, and freak our family and friends out with my gross food items such as, black bat wings and swamp dip. The grossest thing I make is the realistic brain. This throws EVERY one off, and very few can handle even tasting it. Of course pictures aren't available, because while I was running around chatting and refilling food, I completely spaced on having an amazing camera in my possession. Not this year!! I will have pictures of everything!!

Lately I have felt like bottomless void for all food items. I don't know what is causing it, but I am always starving. I suppose next month I can ask my doctor about this disturbing development. Thankfully these are maintenance appointments, and I will be going back quarterly instead of weekly, as it was when all this started. Cooking low fat has become so much easier. I can typically replace and substitute just about anything in a recipe and make it healthier. Although, one thing I have been unable to replace has been bacon. I'm sorry, chopped up, smoked turkey thigh isn't going to come close to bacon, no matter what shape you press it into. It's one of those things I will just have to let go of for now. HEB's maple flavored turkey bacon isn't so bad. It tasted like maple ham instead of smokey bacon goodness. As a breakfast meat, it will do when turkey sausage isn't what I want, but turkey bacon isn't going to be a staple in my fridge. I have to throw in the towel on my hopes for low fat bacon option or turkey bacon that doesn't have the texture of Beggin Strips doggy treats. Bleh!

This isn't the center of the Earth, this is Tuesday.
While I am wasting away over here, bacon-less and unable to satisfy my hunger, We are also being steamed alive outside. The dog days of summer are officially upon us. Arm yourselves with fans, pools, and lemonade for a few more months and hang in there. The Farmer's Almanac says we aren't cooling down until late September. They also predict a hurricane in The Gulf mid to late August. So just in case, try to keep cool and batten the hatches y'all. This would be a good time to vacation in Alaska. If you get the notion to go, don't forget to take me with you! I will have to head back by September though, Halloween parties don't plan themselves you know. I suppose I might miss my family after a while too. Speaking of family, Master Pigglesworth has made almost a full recovery from his tonsillectomy, which we are all grateful for. It was a bummer to have him down in the dumps for almost two weeks, and unable to be his normal crazy self. This weekend we will be swimming and playing as we normally would on the weekend. Game on folks, game on.

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