Waxing Philosophical With Beebs

It's almost time for another birthday! Yay.

I am rapidly approaching the mark of my 32nd year. In 9 days I will be feasting on Mexican lasagna, and a cake of some delicious sort, and I am unable to muster much enthusiasm. Maybe because I am still very tired. I could curl up and nap right this moment. I'm still waiting on my machine, and thanks to Apria Healthcare, I am in sleep apnea limbo. There is a solution to this issue, but they won't hand it over... Stop holding my supposedly good night's sleep hostage already! I was promised certain things, such as feeling like a new person. I don't feel that right now. I feel like a narcoleptic who just ate an entire turkey stuffed with Ambien.YAWN.

It's time to start pinning down the details for the upcoming party.

The picture above is a hint to my Halloween costume. It's not difficult to guess from this blatant clue. I could have been more clever with my clue, but it's not like it's a big secret. I've told everyone that has asked! 15 days till the party, and I am just getting invitations out, and the hubby and I have been recruiting help for set up. We made an awesome new dude for our revamped display this year, I like to call him, "Gutsy Gus". He is certainly showing lots of guts! My husband is a real mad scientist. It is truly amazing how with a plastic skeleton, a few cans of expanding foam, and various colored spray paints, he can create something so gory and ghoulish. I am not ready to post pictures of him yet. he is going to be the "pièce de résistance" of our lab this year. If you can't make it to the party, you can always come by Halloween night, which is the only night our display is open to the public. Private tours are available upon request... hahaha

At least I used to be. Now I'm not so good at it thankfully.

This week, I have heard stories from two families who are finding out that their teen has been making very bad choices. It reminds me of when I was a teen and my mom found out that I was acting older than my age as well. I wouldn't say I was a wild child. While I wasn't making decisions based on my future, I also wasn't being brought home by the cops or ever had a punishment harsher than in-school suspension. I was drinking and smoking at the ripe old age of 15. I had a boyfriend that I got into a very serious situation with. I hadn't really thought of everything I was doing at the time. I did what I felt like I wanted to do. Consequences be damned. Remembering how I felt back then makes me cringe to think about what my kids could do in return to me.  While the teenage years were a nightmare for my mom and dad, it was also  a long road of hard lessons I built for myself. Honestly without those lessons, I don't think I would be here today. I could have prevented my own heartbreaks, but back then I was into blaming everyone else. I can at least say that as an adult, I know when I make my own misery and can at least admit it. But it wasn't just my own findings that made me grow up, I was my Mom and Dad too. As much as I hate to admit it, the harsh words and feelings that were conveyed from them shaped my morals. As I fought against their unfair punishments, and wished I could just leave, I was gaining a respect for them and hardening myself to deal with realities that seemed unfathomable at that point. While my heart is still broken from events that we can never undo, I know I am a stronger person despite the cracks. Thankfully, I did turn out to be a good person. I still make mistakes, sometimes even big ones, but that's because I am still learning. I hope I will never feel like I did as a teen again, when I thought I knew and could handle it all. I feel sorry for the teens who really think they know what they are doing. If you are lucky, you will have the same advantage of looking back and thanking your parents for being what you now consider unfair. Here's to hoping it will mold you into a person that cares enough about themselves and their family to not continue to be an idiot. If not, well I know enough people that never learned that lesson, and  because of them, I am even more thankful every day my Mom and Daddy didn't raise no fool.